My November Guest (layonthetracks) wrote,
My November Guest

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Since no one even has a live journal anymore I can easily say whatever the fuck i want without fear of anyone actually reading this.

i feel cheated. decieved. scammed. tricked.
i can't even fucking do shit.
she obviously doesn't feel anything that resembles what i'm feeling, so fuck it.

i can't even get anything done.

i have AP test a week from tomorrow, and i can't remember shit.
i have some fucking debate coming up in the next week that i have nearly nothing on.

the only time i'm happy is when i'm either surrounded by music, or when i'm working out.
i can't get anything fucking done.

i feel so fucking bland.

i have no emotion towards anything else unless you count anger. which is still directed at the same thing.

"My Scott" what the fuck is that shit? fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

everytime i think about it, i just think of how spoiled she was. had so fucking much but couldn't even recognize it. had no idea of the real world. her mother was a bitch. her whole family were stupid fucking ignorant ass conservative bitches.

we couldn't even hold a conversation deeper than shit about homework, or a movie, but i still fucking miss her more than anything. she's not even close to being the one, but i can't get over shit.

There's so much about her that, in retrospect, i hate. but i can't get over.

and obviously she has. fucking rebound boy. just go to fucking prom and everything is okay. i saw her fucking car at his house sunday morning.

okay, we're still gonne be friends but i guess i have to put in all the effort.
FUCK calling her ever again. FUCK meeting her by her locker (like she said she missed so much) and then fucking ignoring me, not even pretending to try and talk to me.
FUCK seeing you after 5th hour, i'll walk around the fucking long way.

i'd kill to feel any emotion but this one right now.

i feel like a fucking weak ass human being.

FUCK being a teenager, FUCK having to hide your goddamn emotions, FUCK hormones, and FUCK anyone who questions teenage fucking puppy love.
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